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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28560279">Hunger</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gh0stb0y/pseuds/gh0stb0y'>gh0stb0y</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Addiction AU [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Anxiety Disorder, Depression, F/F, Family Feels, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Platonic Relationships, This is a sequel to another fic, college au but they're on a gap year, heavy werewolf content... eventually, intense bloodthirst, learning how not to be a monster, tags might be updated later</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 01:08:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,210</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28560279</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gh0stb0y/pseuds/gh0stb0y</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Forks changed Bella, gave her a fresh start, reconnected her with an old family, and gave her a new one. But the rhythm of life is never stable, and new changes are always lurking on the horizon, even for those who think themselves unchanging. Some can be anticipated. Others can turn the world on its head overnight. (This fic is the sequel to Addiction.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jacob Black/Edward Cullen, Rosalie Hale/Bella Swan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Addiction AU [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1172888</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hunger</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>PART I</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>At seventeen, I started to starve myself</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>I thought that love was a kind of emptiness</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>And at least I understood then, the hunger I felt</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>And I didn't have to call it loneliness</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>-X-</strong>
</p>
<p>"Well, I just sold the house."</p>
<p>Bella spit out her coffee.</p>
<p>"You <em>what</em>?"</p>
<p>"Sold it. Done deal. The buyer offered more than what we had it listed for. Couldn't pass up an opportunity like that."</p>
<p>Bella felt her dead heart sink a little. The house that she had never had a proper chance to grow up in was no longer theirs. All it's creaky floorboards and rustic charm now belonged to someone else, and barely a week after it had been put up for sale.</p>
<p>"Who on earth bought it so fast?" she asked as she stood up to grab a paper towel to clean up her mess.</p>
<p>Charlie shrugged. "Uh, Camron something or other? I let the realtor handle all the details. I just want the money."</p>
<p>Bella stopped in her tracks.</p>
<p>"You sold our house to someone and you don't even know their name?"</p>
<p>"Look, Bells, I know you weren't too happy about moving, but let's face it: this is way better for our family now. The old house had a lot of memories stored up in it, I know, but just because we sold it to someone else doesn't mean those memories are gone. Besides, what were you gonna do? Go sit in an empty house by yourself and reminisce?"</p>
<p>He had a point, but she didn't like it. Bella had found herself growing awfully sentimental as of late. The impending finalization of her immortality was exacerbating her penchant for nostalgia. After she finished wiping the mess off the kitchen counter, she took another sip of her coffee and frowned; too much cream, too sweet.</p>
<p>Charlie sat down beside her and unfolded today's newspaper (which he still insisted on getting mailed to him instead of reading it online). Bella was surprised that he had so easily sold his childhood home, the only place where he had ever lived before now, but she had a feeling he was more bothered by it than he seemed and was just putting on a brave face for her. A brave face she didn't need, because she would have rather seen him be just as upset as her, recognizing that this was, in fact, a loss.</p>
<p>"You could've at least waited to finalize it all after I was on vacation," she grumbled.</p>
<p>"Again, Bella, we need the money."</p>
<p>He was right, and yet he was wrong, because Bella could pay off the entire cost of the new house with a flick of her wrist if she so desired, but Charlie was insistent on refusing any further handouts from the Cullens. After he and Sue had bought the plot of land, they asked Esme to draw up the plans for the house, which she had done for free despite Charlie practically begging to pay her for it. Sue managed to get a local contractor to oversee the construction before the Cullens could stick their hands into their business any further. It wasn't that they weren't grateful for their help and contributions, but Sue and Charlie were far too prideful to take much more of their monetary assistance.</p>
<p>Bella could have bought the hold house if she had wanted to, but she hadn't. Something stopped her from doing so. Deep down, she knew that she should let it go, because she was going to have to let a lot of things go as time went on.</p>
<p>She didn't want to think about that right now, though.</p>
<p>Bella wasn't the only person who was changing. Everyone around her was going through some kind of transformation. Case in point, Seth, who was upstairs getting ready for his high school graduation this afternoon. He was moving into a new phase of his life just as everyone else was.</p>
<p>There was Charlie, who had decided to give up his job as police chief in favor of something less stressful. He was a park ranger now, which everyone felt suited him much better.</p>
<p>And there was Sam, who was also stepping down from a position of authority in order to pursue his true passion: teaching. At the end of the summer, he would pass the torch to Jacob, who would claim his birthright and become the new alpha of the pack, which itself was growing less and less necessary as time went on and would one day become obsolete.</p>
<p>Immortality or not, time would not stop for anyone.</p>
<p>These were the kinds of thoughts Bella had nowadays, which she funneled into her first attempt at writing what she called "vampire lit". The project was to be a story about her experiences and ruminations on transitioning into eternal life. It would never be a bestseller, and she doubted it would reach that many eyes if the Volturi allowed her to publish it, but it was something to put her time and energy into, and she was going to have a lot of time and energy going forward.</p>
<p>Bella decided to take her coffee upstairs where she walked past the door to her room and went to Leah's instead. Having Leah and Seth as step-siblings fortunately hadn't been weird at all; they were always like cousins to her anyways, and their dynamic didn't change when they were made to live under one roof.</p>
<p>Yet Bella still felt like a guest in what was supposed to be her own home. She knew from the moment that they broke ground on the house that she wouldn't be living in it for very long. Her change was coming, and she would spend the year afterwards living with the Cullens, learning to control her thirst. She wouldn't be allowed to see Charlie until the others deemed it safe. That scared her a little.</p>
<p>She didn't want to think about that right now, though.</p>
<p>And she wasn't the only one who would be leaving. Leah had already started packing as well. Angela was moving to Portland to study photography at PNCA, and Leah was following her.</p>
<p>Leah was sitting at her desk, going through the drawers and deciding what was worth keeping and what was worth throwing away.</p>
<p>"I can't be the only one that obsessively holds onto every single card I've ever gotten, right?" she said, holding up a stack of torn envelopes and cards of all kinds.</p>
<p>"You never struck me as the kind of person to do that. But, yeah, I do that too," said Bella, sitting down on the bed.</p>
<p>Leah thumbed through the stack, pulling out and throwing away anything that was from someone she didn't really care about. The ones she put back into the drawer were the kinds with long, handwritten, heartfelt messages on the inside.</p>
<p>"I never thought I had a lot of stuff, but I guess I do," she said, looking around the room.</p>
<p>"You don't have to take it all with you right away."</p>
<p>"No, I don't. I plan on just taking the essentials. Not even sure what our place is gonna look like yet either."</p>
<p>"You gonna become the lone wolf of Portland?" Bella asked, chuckling.</p>
<p>Leah swatted the empty air. "Hell no. I'm sick of this wolf shit, to be honest. Thank god things have calmed down." She twiddled her thumbs. "It's stupid, but I'm excited to just have a normal life again. It feels a bit like starting over, getting a second shot."</p>
<p>Bella nodded quietly, taking a sip of her coffee. Leah twisted back and forth in her seat and looked around the room, trying to find a new topic of conversation.</p>
<p>"Still don't know where the bloodsuckers are taking you on vacation?"</p>
<p>"Nope. I was told it would be nice and secluded."</p>
<p>"Maybe it's some cabin in the mountains. Way, way away from civilization."</p>
<p>"That's the vibe I'm getting, but I can't get any other details from anyone."</p>
<p>Leah opened her mouth but closed it before she said anything else, evidently deciding that whatever she had thought was best left unsaid. She drummed her fingers on the desktop.</p>
<p>"Can't believe my little brother is graduating high school. Thought he would always be a kid."</p>
<p>"I think he'll always be a kid at heart."</p>
<p>"Yeah, but he's grown up a lot."</p>
<p>"Am I getting the sense that you are, perhaps… proud of him?" Bella asked, leaning forward slightly.</p>
<p>Leah blushed. "Maybe a little, yeah! I have that right!"</p>
<p>Bella laughed. "You do, you do."</p>
<p>"I mean, in all seriousness, he's had a lot dumped on him and he's taken it in stride. Sometimes I think he's more mature than I am."</p>
<p>"Yeah. He might be." Bella stood up. "Speaking of which, I better go put on something 'nice' for this graduation."</p>
<p>"Mom get on you about that?"</p>
<p>"Last night she was talking about how she wants to take family pictures today. She didn't say anything <em>to</em> me, but it was definitely implied."</p>
<p>"Oof, I better also pick out something better than this," said Leah, tugging on her t-shirt.</p>
<p>Bella left her to search for a new outfit, returning to her own room.</p>
<p>When Esme was drawing up the plans for the house, Bella spent a lot of time looking over her shoulder. The Swan-Clearwater home was built in a style similar to that of the old Swan house, with a rustic, modern-Victorian vibe. It had two floors and a basement, a wrap-around porch, and an attached garage.</p>
<p>Because of her interest in the plans, Esme had asked Bella how she wanted her room to look. Knowing that she was only a temporary presence in the new house, she had asked Esme to keep it small and nondescript.</p>
<p>Esme had not listened. Bella's new room was her old room to a T. It had the exact same layout, with the exact same window perfectly placed for midnight guests. Yet, it was a poor facsimile. The wood floor was too new, the paint on the walls was too fresh, the ceiling fan was too smooth in its rotations, without a hint of wobble. The floorboards did not creak under her feet in the same way that the old ones had. Everything was where it should be, but it was all wrong.</p>
<p>Bella was grateful that Esme had done this for her, but it wound up making her feel even worse. The room reminded her that she certainly walked and talked like a normal person, and she certainly was happy, but she had been forever changed, and would only change further. Would she find her new self unrecognizable? Would Charlie look at his daughter in the same way she looked at this fresh recreation of her old bedroom? The same, but so wholly different?</p>
<p>She didn't want to think about that right now, though.</p>
<p>She thought about Seth's graduation today, and her own tomorrow. That was what mattered. They would celebrate their accomplishments now and worry about the future later.</p>
<p>Bella put on a green button-down shirt Alice had bought for her that she didn't think she had ever worn before and a pair of black jeans. That would have to suffice.</p>
<p>They sat with Jacob and Billy at the ceremony. Jacob had been scheduled to work today, but he had gotten Rosalie to cover for him so that he could attend. Both of them were still working at Fisher's Tire &amp; Auto, Jacob having opted not to go to PC after he graduated from a high school a year prior. For now, he was content with getting practical experience and would reconsider college in the future; after all, he would probably be traveling with the Cullens in a few years, and he would have to fit into their cyclical way of life. For now, he wanted to pursue his passions outside of an academic environment.</p>
<p>Seth graduated with honors. He had not had to suffer the gauntlet his wolf brothers before him had been put through. He missed little to no classes and was even able to participate in a few extracurriculars. He was set to attend PC in the fall and wanted to transfer out to a four-year school and study to become a veterinarian.</p>
<p>He had it all planned out; Bella had seen his dream boards hanging in his room. A few years prior, Bella would have been jealous of those clear future visions, but no longer. Though the future was infinite, she had a clear idea of what the next few years of her life would look like, and she had gone through her final year at PC content with what she had planned.</p>
<p>After graduation, Bella would go on vacation with the Cullens. During this, she would be turned, and then they would return to Forks, where they would remain at home for a year, helping her adjust. If all went well, they would move to Seattle and finish out this cycle at U-Dub before relocating and starting all over again. They would stay as close to Forks as possible for as long as they could, but their time was quickly running out.</p>
<p>The family gave Seth a standing ovation as he crossed the stage. Jacob cheered for him with the same enthusiasm that he had for Jacob a year ago.</p>
<p>After the ceremony, they gathered in the parking lot, and Sue roped Jacob into taking a picture of the five of them. They ended up taking several, including one where Leah and Bella posed with Seth sitting on their shoulders. Jacob gladly played photographer for them before swapping with Sue to get some pictures of him with Seth as well.</p>
<p>Charlie got a little misty-eyed watching them pose together.</p>
<p>"Don't get soft on me now, dad," said Bella.</p>
<p>"No, it's just… I can't stop thinking about when you kids were this big," he said, putting his hand by his thigh. "You're all really grown up now, huh?"</p>
<p>She laughed and gave him a pat on the back. "I think you might just be old."</p>
<p>He pursed his lips, holding back a grin, and smacked her shoulder.</p>
<p>"I'm not that old."</p>
<p>"Yet."</p>
<p>"Young lady, I will ground you."</p>
<p>"You can't! I've got graduation tomorrow."</p>
<p>They ate an early dinner at the Ateara Family General Store, Seth proudly continuing to wear his cap and gown the entire time. Bella tried to enjoy the pizza, but she found she didn't have much of an appetite—something that happened more often than not these days. A sign of the changing times.</p>
<p>Bella couldn't hold a candle to the abilities of a proper vampire, but she was, on the whole, a lot faster and stronger than a human should be. She had learned how to control her extra speed and strength, but it was a bit jarring for people like Charlie to watch her break the occasional glass jar with her bare hands, or trip and overcorrect with speed and reflexes that no human being should have.</p>
<p>She found herself unusually tired when they returned home and went straight up to her room to lay down for a bit. Her need for sleep had drastically decreased alongside her appetite to the point where she was starting to treasure every nap and night's rest that she managed to get. Sleep was bliss, and one that Bella was already starting to miss. She'd lie awake at night and think about how Edward took fake naps, curling up in a pile of blankets and closing his eyes knowing that no sleep would come but performing the idea of it anyways. He was never clear about whether it helped or not.</p>
<p>Bella fell asleep in her bedroom with the lights on, still fully dressed. She woke up several hours later, around 11PM. She could see light from under Seth and Leah's doors, indicating that they were both still awake. The rest of the house was dark. Sue and Charlie had certainly gone to bed.</p>
<p>Bella knew she wouldn't be getting anymore sleep. She found her phone and sent a message to the Cullen group chat, saying she was bored and asking if anyone wanted to hang out. She got a response from Emmett, who said that a few of them had gone out on a hunting trip, but he, Esme, and Edward were at home.</p>
<p>She replied <em>"all my favorite Es" </em>and went to knock on Leah's door.</p>
<p>"Need something?" Leah asked as she opened it, light spilling out into the hallway. Bella could see she was doing more cleaning and packing.</p>
<p>"Just wanted to let someone know that I'm going to the Cullens'. I'll be back in the morning."</p>
<p>"Nap too hard?"</p>
<p>Bella shrugged. "I gotta take what little sleep I can get when it strikes me."</p>
<p>"Alright. Have fun."</p>
<p>She nodded, and Leah closed the door. Bella put on some shoes and went downstairs, fishing her keys out of the bowl by the door, which she made sure to lock on her way out.</p>
<p>Bella had a key to the Cullen house now too, and one of those little remotes that let her into the garage. She rarely ever used either; someone was always home to let her in, and she felt awkward parking her huge, old truck in the garage with their sleek, fancy cars.</p>
<p>Esme was outside in the driveway when she pulled up. Bella knew that she had gotten really into refurbishing furniture lately, and tonight she was painting a dresser that she had just finished fixing up.</p>
<p>"Coming along very nice," said Bella, circling around the project.</p>
<p>"Oh, thank you. This one has been pretty simple so far."</p>
<p>"Sure, but I did see that chair you reupholstered in Rosalie's room the other day. And don't get me started on the display case you fixed up for Jasper."</p>
<p>Esme smiled and waved away her compliments. "The boys are in the den downstairs. If you're hungry, there's still some leftovers in the fridge from Monday, and I bought some more of that cereal you like yesterday!"</p>
<p>"I'll definitely take you up on the cereal. Thanks, Esme."</p>
<p>Bella gave her a one-armed hug, trying to avoid any paint, then headed up the steps and into the house.</p>
<p>She found Emmett and Edward in the den on the first floor, drinking beer and watching random YouTube videos. Edward, clearly a bit tipsy, threw his hands in the air and shouted, "Bella!" when she walked in.</p>
<p>The den was dimly lit and windowless, constructed to be a bit like a home theater but without the movie theater-style seating. Instead, there was a conversation pit dominating most of the floor, and a projector hanging from the ceiling that cast its images onto the entire opposite wall. True to form, Edward was tucked into a nest of blankets and pillows while Emmett was sitting on the floor above the seating area next to a case of Landsharks. He lifted a bottle from the box and waved it at Bella. She nodded, and he popped the cap off with his bare hands and handed it to her as she walked past him and sat down next to Edward.</p>
<p>"What's crackin'?" asked Emmett.</p>
<p>"The usual."</p>
<p>"Ah, another sleepless night," he said, dramatically lifting his beer in a toast.</p>
<p>Bella raised hers towards him before lowering it to her lips.</p>
<p>Edward mumbled something incomprehensible; he was sunk deep into his luxurious nest and was holding a pillow to his chest that was covering his mouth. Bella reached over and pulled said pillow away from him, putting it behind her back to give herself some support.</p>
<p>"No Jacob tonight?" she asked.</p>
<p>He shook his head. "He's busy with Sam."</p>
<p>"Ah, right. Alpha stuff. Is that why you're acting mopey?"</p>
<p>"I'm not acting mopey! I'm just cozy."</p>
<p>"Sure."</p>
<p>He stuck out his tongue at her and, with great effort, sat up to take a swig of his beer. Emmett picked up a wireless keyboard.</p>
<p>"Music video requests?"</p>
<p>"Put on some Brockhampton," Edward said.</p>
<p>"What song?"</p>
<p>"Your pick."</p>
<p>Emmett pulled up the video for "1998 Truman" and let it play.</p>
<p>"This what you two been up to all night?" she asked.</p>
<p>"Yeah. Eddie boy's graduating tomorrow. Gotta have a little preemptive fun."</p>
<p>Edward raised a hand in a "hang loose" gesture. "Graduated a hundred times over, but you gotta celebrate the little things."</p>
<p>"It hasn't been a hundred times," Emmett scoffed.</p>
<p>"Hyperbole, my man."</p>
<p>Edward bobbed his head to the beat, closing his eyes and swaying from side to side. Bella stopped talking to listen to the song; she always paid attention to any music that Edward liked. She had allowed him to inform her taste quite a bit over the past few years.</p>
<p>"Are <em>you</em> excited about graduating?" Emmett asked her.</p>
<p>"I… hadn't really thought about it, if I'm being honest. There's a lot of big things that are about to happen, and graduation hasn't really been at the forefront of my mind. Getting a fancy little piece of paper doesn't exactly stand on the same level of importance as getting turned into a vampire."</p>
<p>"It should," he said. "This is the first time you're gonna graduate from college."</p>
<p>"Yeah, but it's just an associate's."</p>
<p>"It's still something to celebrate. You made it this far."</p>
<p>Bella took another drink. "I guess you're right. But I guess it's also good that I've stopped looking at my life in terms of 'how far I've come', y'know?"</p>
<p>Emmett nodded sagely. "Also true. Still, you gotta pat yourself on the back every now and then."</p>
<p>"I think it'll feel more real tomorrow. And we have the party tomorrow night." She nudged Edward. "I'm sure you're excited about that."</p>
<p>"Oh, you bet I am!"</p>
<p>Jessica, queen of the Olympic social scene, had gotten into a study abroad program and fled the country shortly after breaking up with Mike. In her final month in Forks, she seemed to have completely turned her life around in a way that Bella and Angela had agreed was good for her. Jessica had shed what Edward liked to call her "prom queen" mindset and become fiercely independent. Now, she was gallivanting around Europe and, based off her instagram posts, really, really loving it. She was loving it so much that she had opted not to come home for graduation because she wanted to, in her words, "summer in Greece". Bella occasionally wondered if she would ever see Jessica again, but there was no doubt that she would return to Forks at some point before leaving it behind forever.</p>
<p>With Jessica gone, the parties thrown at the Park had grown a lot less organized, with Mike and Eric trying and failing to capture the same spirit she had brought to those kinds of events. Alice, seeing an opportunity, had stepped in after their first few attempts went south, and she had become the new party czar of the college social scene.</p>
<p>Tomorrow night's graduation party would be happening at the Cullen house. Throwing a house party had been something Alice (and Edward) had dreamed of all year, and they had finally gotten Carlisle and Esme's permission to do it. Of course, they had thrown house parties like this before with the pack, but those were on a much smaller scale and didn't involve letting strangers into their home.</p>
<p>After tomorrow morning's ceremony, they would spend the afternoon cleaning the house from top to bottom and making sure anything private or valuable was properly locked away and secured. Alice had assured them all multiple times that nothing would go wrong, but she was only 99% correct, and Esme had still been hesitant to let her kids throw a complete rager in her home.</p>
<p>"It'll be great," said Emmett. "I'm gonna do so many kegstands."</p>
<p>"Make sure you leave some beer for everyone else," said Bella.</p>
<p>"Maybe I will. Maybe I won't!"</p>
<p>Bella finished her beer and remembered the cereal that Esme had mentioned.</p>
<p>"Well, boys, I'm gonna go grab a snack," she said, standing up. "I can take any empty bottles upstairs with me."</p>
<p>Emmett and Edward loaded her down with their finished beers, and she climbed upstairs to put them in the recycling bin.</p>
<p>Bella probably knew her way around the Cullen kitchen better than any of the Cullens did at this point. She knew which cabinet they kept the breakfast food in, where the bowls were, which side of the fridge the milk was on. All information that would shortly become useless.</p>
<p>She didn't want to think about that right now, though.</p>
<p>
  <strong>-X-</strong>
</p>
<p>The graduates were put into waiting rooms based on last names, so Bella found herself stuck in a room full of people she vaguely knew or had never met before in her life. If Jessica had stuck around, Bella would at least have had her to talk to, but she found herself with no one.</p>
<p>That being said, there was no one really watching over the groups, so people were slipping in and out of their assigned rooms and creating chaos for the college staff that were trying to organize the event. Lacking respect for the process, Bella also dipped out of her waiting room to find her friends. She found Edward and Alice hanging out in the very first room, near the entrance to the auditorium.</p>
<p>"There she is!" shouted Alice, who leapt towards her right as she entered the room.</p>
<p>"I'm sure you saw me coming," said Bella, laughing.</p>
<p>"You feeling excited yet?" Edward asked, clapping her on the shoulder.</p>
<p>"I guess?"</p>
<p>Truth be told, Bella was feeling kind of anxious. She had gone home shortly after sunrise the night prior and spent the morning sitting in her room, feeling nervous for no reason. Some self-examination told her that it was a mixture of excitement and the usual nerves, a high-strung cocktail that her body liked to cook up when she wasn't sure how to feel about something. She thought she would just be excited in the good way, but the uneasiness she was harboring about her imminent turning tinged her graduation day with colors of… regret? Sadness? Bella wasn't sure.</p>
<p>She often got this feeling when things ended. Even when she left Phoenix, she was sort of upset about it. A portion of her life had closed off, and she wouldn't be able to properly go back to it. There were so many things that she had or hadn't done, and she would never be able to do them again.</p>
<p>Back then, it was about leaving a place behind. No more weekend trips to her favorite taqueria, no more walking down the street at 4AM to get junk food from the corner store, no more sneaking airplane bottles into the roller rink, no more shitty Phoenix house parties.</p>
<p>In retrospect, she felt silly thinking that she would miss some of those things. Becoming a vampire was nothing like moving to a new town. She was truly going to lose things, things like sleeping and eating. If anything, she was thankful that she had already been having to deal with it. Having those key human features stripped away from her wouldn't feel so sudden.</p>
<p>Bella hadn't considered herself human for a long time. Her perception of herself had fluctuated a lot over the past year, but it had never gone back to the place it had been prior to her untimely death at the hands of James and Lucrezia's ghouls. Though it was surprisingly easy to forget that she was a walking corpse, there was always something that would eventually remind her and make her feel distant from the untouched mortals around her. She was starting to understand why Rosalie had been so adamantly against Bella becoming a vampire, why she had run from fate for so long; this wasn't something a person should want. The cost of immortality was too high. It wasn't just losing sleep or the ability to eat food, but it was the inevitable loss of the people around you.</p>
<p>She had been warned. Carlisle had talked to her about this before, about the loneliness that came with vampirism. It was why the family-style coven existed. They had each other to rely on.</p>
<p>In the beginning, Bella had thought she wanted Charlie to know her secret, so that she could spend more time with him even after she had been turned. There would be nothing to hide from her father, who so desperately wanted to have her back in his life after being apart from her for so long.</p>
<p>Now, after all had been said and done, she sort of wished he didn't know. Learning the truth had been hard on Charlie. It still was. He still wasn't sure how to maneuver through this new world of vampires and wolves. He sometimes wasn't sure how to interact with his own daughter, who he still loved deeply but had, in some ways, become a stranger to him. They acted as if nothing had changed, but something certainly had, and they had no idea how to reconcile that.</p>
<p>Maybe it would have been better for both of them if Bella had graduated from high school and mysteriously "died" on the way to wherever the Cullens were planning on taking her. He could have coped better with her proper death instead of having to shift his entire understanding of the way the world worked and come to terms with the fact that his daughter would never really die.</p>
<p>She didn't want to think about that right now, but there was no way that she couldn't. Not today, during an event that signified the end of many things. This wasn't just about getting a degree anymore, this was about old and new life, about stepping out of the "normal" world into forever.</p>
<p>Bella was excited, and she was terrified.</p>
<p>Alice could tell. "Do you need me to go get Jasper?"</p>
<p>"No, no, I'm fine. I'll be okay. It's just… a lot."</p>
<p>She couldn't speak openly about her feelings when they were surrounded by so many humans, but Edward didn't need to be able to read her mind to understand why Bella's nerves were getting to her. He smiled and rubbed her arm.</p>
<p>"Hey, it's okay. It's okay to be scared. Just remember that you're not going through this alone. We'll be here to help you every step of the way, from now on. Forever."</p>
<p>Forever. A word that held a lot of weight nowadays.</p>
<p>Bella sighed and smiled.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I know. Thanks guys."</p>
<p>Edward grabbed her other arm and shook her a little. "And we're gonna party tonight, bitch! We're gonna get fucked up!"</p>
<p>She started laughing. "Hell yeah!"</p>
<p>"<em>Hell</em> yeah!"</p>
<p>"It's gonna be the best fucking party anyone has ever thrown," said Alice. She also grabbed Bella and started shaking her. "If you're not excited about it, you're wrong!"</p>
<p>"I'm excited, I'm excited! Mercy!"</p>
<p>They let her go, and she rubbed her arms, still laughing.</p>
<p>"Feeling better?" Edward asked.</p>
<p>"Yeah, much better."</p>
<p>"You better get back to your room, they're about to tell us to get our shit together," said Alice, pushing her towards the door. "See you later!"</p>
<p>Bella returned to her waiting room just as someone started to walk down the hall calling for all the graduates to get back to where they belonged. Not long after, they started leading the groups out into the auditorium, Pomp and Circumstance blaring over the speakers. Once seated, Bella started scoping out the rest of the seats, looking for her family. Charlie, Sue, Seth, Leah, Billy, and Jacob were all sitting up to her left. Just a few rows behind them were the Cullens.</p>
<p>Her own mother wouldn't see her college graduation. For a second, she allowed herself to be nostalgic and felt a bit sad, but then she thought about what it would actually be like to have Renee here and put those thoughts out of mind. The Dwyers couldn't come near her if they wanted to, and she was fine with that. Renee didn't deserve to see this, to celebrate this.</p>
<p>The audience was forced to sit through the usual speeches and spiels. During this process, Bella fiddled with her jewelry. When she was getting ready that morning, she had gone through everything she had and felt compelled to put it all on.</p>
<p>First, the moon pendant from Rosalie, which she wore almost every day. The leather cord was starting to wear a bit and might need to be replaced soon. Then there was her Cullen crest, embedded on a slim leather bracelet that she wore on her right wrist. Underneath that, a hand-woven friendship bracelet from Jacob. She didn't wear it as often as she should, mostly because she was afraid of damaging it.</p>
<p>Lastly, her pinky promise ring. The moon and its stars, wrapped around her left pinky finger. Another piece she wore less often than she liked, but this was something she really couldn't stand damaging or losing. It stayed in a small box on her dresser most of the time.</p>
<p>Bella had to wait and watch as everyone in front of her was called across the stage. She watched Alice, then Edward, as well as several of her human classmates that she still spoke to on occasion. Ben, Tyler, Lauren, Mike. Jessica's name was called out despite her absence.</p>
<p>Then it was Bella's turn.</p>
<p>It hadn't really felt real until she had to get up and walk across the stage. She heard cheering—Emmett shouting her name above all else—as she walked on nervous legs. She shook with her right and took the paper with her left, smiling at PC's president, who she had never met or even seen before in her life. She moved on quickly because the next graduate was coming up fast.</p>
<p>Just like that, it was over. She had graduated from community college, earned her associate's degree. The first degree of what she assumed would be many.</p>
<p>The nerves fell away. Bella felt proud of herself for making it this far. Her life had become much easier over the past year, but that didn't mean she hadn't worked hard to get here. She had been through hell and back, and now she had an associate's degree.</p>
<p>That was surely something worth celebrating.</p>
<p>Charlie found her as soon as he could after the ceremony ended. He had a huge smile on his face, and he hugged her without saying anything. He hugged her so tightly that he lifted her off her feet and little.</p>
<p>"Congrats, kiddo! You did it!"</p>
<p>"I sure did," she said, laughing as he sat her down. "Your only daughter is a bonafide college graduate."</p>
<p>"Sure, but that ol' associate's only a step up the ladder," he said, winking.</p>
<p>Bella had decided that, when she did make it off to a four-year school, she wanted to major in English. She had told Charlie this, but she wasn't sure if she'd be able to make it there straight after her gap year. Only time would tell.</p>
<p>"True, true. But a step nonetheless!"</p>
<p>Sue gave her a gentler hug. Seth gave her a bigger one, Leah punched her shoulder, and Jacob lifted her up into the air, setting her on his shoulder and parading her around.</p>
<p>"Jake! Put me down! People are looking!"</p>
<p>"Never! You deserve to be seen!"</p>
<p>She was seen, in fact, by the Cullens. Alice was hanging off Jasper's arm as she was apt to do, but Edward was getting a similar treatment to Bella from Emmett, though he had slung his brother over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Edward was hitting him over the head with his diploma.</p>
<p>"Wanna trade?" Emmett asked as they approached.</p>
<p>"Sure!"</p>
<p>Jacob handed Bella over to Emmett, who gracefully placed her on his shoulder as he almost threw Edward to his partner. Jacob caught him, bridal style, which was almost more embarrassing than being carried around.</p>
<p>Bella gave the top of Emmett's head a kiss before spinning around and sliding down his back, right into Rosalie's arms.</p>
<p>"Congratulations, baby," Rosalie said softly, giving her a kiss.</p>
<p>"Mmm, thanks," said Bella as she pulled away. "I can't believe it's been a whole year since you were in my shoes."</p>
<p>"I can," said Rose. "But today is much more important than that was."</p>
<p>"Oh, stop it."</p>
<p>"I'm serious. You can only do everything for the first time once."</p>
<p>Bella nodded and let her head fall into the crook of Rosalie's neck.</p>
<p>"That's for sure."</p>
<p>Bella went home with Charlie and the others to change out of her cap and gown and have lunch with the family, then headed back to the Cullens' to help them prepare for the party. She did her best to keep herself so busy that she couldn't stop to overthink things. She focused on cleaning off shelves and moving furniture.</p>
<p>"Should we clear out the kitchen?" Rosalie asked.</p>
<p>"Box up the dishes and anything fragile. Everything else… It's not like <em>we're</em> gonna eat the food," said Alice.</p>
<p>"Point made."</p>
<p>Bella, fearing she would drop a stack of plates, opted to help Edward start moving sound equipment upstairs instead. Jasper was creating a blockage of furniture in the carpeted living space across from the kitchen, which he then covered with thick, plastic tarps to make sure no one spilled anything on any of it. This completely opened up the living area on the north side of the second floor, where Edward was starting to set up his DJ podium as he had for the previous parties they had hosted with the pack.</p>
<p>Of course, he was getting anxious about people bumping into it or spilling anything on it, so they took a break to run out to a local hardware store to buy a couple pieces of wood that Jasper put together to create a simple but sturdy blockade. Once they put this around the base and covered anything particularly vulnerable, Edward was satisfied.</p>
<p>They worked fast, but it took them all afternoon to get the house into top shape. Even after that, Esme found a few things they had overlooked that they had to move.</p>
<p>Alice had gotten them to stop by the liquor store before they left Port Angeles after graduation, so they already had the necessary libations, but they hadn't gotten any mixers. Bella and Rosalie were sent out with a long list of sodas and juices, but there was a particular section labeled "punch ingredients" at the bottom as well.</p>
<p>"What kind of punch is she making? This seems kind of generic. Pineapple juice, OJ, Hawaiian punch…"</p>
<p>A devilish smile the likes of which Bella rarely saw appeared on Rosalie's face.</p>
<p>"Oh, you've never had Alice's punch."</p>
<p>Bella blinked a few times.</p>
<p>"Have… Have you?"</p>
<p>"Once. Once was enough."</p>
<p>Bella raised an eyebrow, but Rosalie would offer up no further information. She would not understand until they returned home.</p>
<p>Alice was standing behind the "bar" (the kitchen island, though it had been once again closed off and converted to a space primarily for serving drinks) with a giant, five gallon jug sitting on the counter in front of her. She helped Bella and Rosalie unload most of the mixers onto the counter behind her, save for the ones she had listed separately. Then, she started pulling out fifths from the booze stash and setting them on the bar. Three of each: rum, tequila, vodka, and…</p>
<p>"Everclear? Alice, where did you even get this? It's not legal in Washington!" said Bella, grabbing one of the bottles.</p>
<p>"It is in Oregon!" She winked. "Edward, are you done with the fruit?"</p>
<p>"Yes ma'am!"</p>
<p>He turned around, producing a plate covered in various sliced fruits. With expert skill, Alice upturned the three bottles of Everclear and poured them into the jug. When she was done, Edward tossed in the fruit.</p>
<p>"Let it marinate for a second, and then, the vodka!"</p>
<p>Alice proceeded to add the three bottles of vodka, then the tequila, then the rum. Next, two cans of pineapple juice, then one bottle of orange juice, then one jug of Hawaiian Punch. Bella watched the red juice seep into the yellow-orange mix like blood in the water. For the final touches, Alice sealed up the jug and lifted it with an ease that was comical for someone of her size, then shook it, thoroughly mixing the contents.</p>
<p>Bella had seen a lot of insane punches in her time, but this one took the cake.</p>
<p>"She has no regard for whether anyone coming to this party lives or dies," Bella said, still staring at the jug of what might as well be poison.</p>
<p>"She used to make it with absinthe, but that stopped being fun after they took the wormwood out," said Edward, grinning. "Everclear is a poor substitute, but it does the job."</p>
<p>"Hey, if anyone goes to the hospital, that's just more business for Carlisle," said Alice, still vigorously shaking the jug.</p>
<p>"That's not how hospitals work and you know that," said Carlisle, glaring at her from across the room. "I can't believe I agreed to let you serve that concoction."</p>
<p>"Everyone will be fine! I've seen it. I wouldn't offer it to anyone otherwise."</p>
<p>"Mhmm, and what's your definition of 'fine'?" Bella asked. "I've seen lesser punches floor grown men, guys Emmett's size."</p>
<p>"I'm bartending, so I'll make sure no one has more than they need. Besides, this stuff is mostly for us. It's a vampire delicacy," she said, making a chef's kiss motion.</p>
<p>"It's a 'you' thing," said Rosalie, rolling her eyes.</p>
<p>Alice put the punch jug in a tub of ice and wiped off the bar before setting up the first round of booze and mixers.</p>
<p>Bella had a small dinner as the sun began to set. The house was properly set up for the party and everyone was taking their last chance to relax before the chaos began. She ate her leftover pasta on the balcony, watching the world go dark.</p>
<p>She still tended to drink a lot at parties, but it was something she had talked with Carlisle about and, for the most part, it was fine. It was nothing compared to what she and Edward were doing before, or even what she had been doing in Phoenix. Parties were a proper time to let go and have one drink too many, as long as it wasn't a regular occurrence. And it wasn't. They went to parties about once a month, and sometimes not even that much. Drinking was more of a fun treat than a weekly thing.</p>
<p>"Feeling excited now?" Rosalie asked, poking her head outside.</p>
<p>"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Definitely. I'm having fun. I'm excited to have more fun." She struggled to get the last noodle on her fork and gave up. She wasn't that hungry. "It's the last time I'll get to do something like this as a quasi-human, so I'm just going to let myself have the time of my life or whatever."</p>
<p>"There'll be plenty more parties, babe." Rosalie walked over and put her arms around Bella's neck, resting her chin on her head.</p>
<p>"Yeah, but they'll all be a little different, won't they?"</p>
<p>"I couldn't tell you. Never went to any ragers while I was still human."</p>
<p>Bella rolled her eyes.</p>
<p>"I know you're just trying to make me feel better, but it'll all be different. I know that."</p>
<p>"It will, but I'm also being serious when I say I can't even remember what it was like… before. It might be shitty to say that you'll get over it after a while, but… you will. It's just what happens."</p>
<p>"I know you wish you could have it back."</p>
<p>Rosalie sighed. "I'm not even sure anymore. I've been wanting for something I don't even remember. Sure, it's objectively better; there's no argument that mortality is the right choice. But what's the point of wanting for sleep when I can't even remember what sleeping is like?"</p>
<p>"Edward likes to 'sleep'."</p>
<p>"Edward likes the quiet. Sure, I wish I could close my eyes and shut everything off for a while, but… dreaming itself feels like a dream now." Rosalie paused. "This probably isn't helping you very much, is it?"</p>
<p>"Not really, but it's not like I have a choice."</p>
<p>Rosalie walked around the chair and knelt down, looking Bella in the eye.</p>
<p>"Look, it seems like it sucks, and it does, but it's not all doom and gloom. Not always. There will be plenty more amazing experiences, things you could never do before, and you'll have all the time in the world to do them. That's exciting, right?"</p>
<p>Bella smiled.</p>
<p>"Yeah, it is. I guess… I just wanted to let you know that I think you were right. Back then, I mean. When you tried to avoid me? I think I might have done the same thing if I were in your shoes. So I don't blame you for that."</p>
<p>"All I can say now is that I would never do something like that again, no matter what."</p>
<p>"I know you wouldn't."</p>
<p>Rosalie gave her a kiss.</p>
<p>High above the two of them, the moon was beginning to shine, and the stars around it.</p>
<p>
  <strong>-X-</strong>
</p>
<p>Alice had predicted that people would show up early, and they did. Luckily, the Cullens were well-prepared. Carlisle and Esme disappeared from the house, going off to god knows where to do god knows what (for obvious reasons, they couldn't risk being seen at their childrens' house party).</p>
<p>Everyone had done a bit of pregaming. Shortly before people started arriving, they all did tequila shots. Alice set herself up behind the bar. They hadn't charged a cover fee for the party, but she was bartending simply because allowing people to self-serve was a terrible idea. It was her job to keep an eye on the booze and cut off anyone who was getting a little too far gone.</p>
<p>Some guests were early, some were right on time, and many were fashionably late. This wasn't the only graduation celebration going on, and folks were certainly moving from function to function as the night went on. Bella floated around the party as she liked to do, saying hi to everyone and stopping in with the people she knew better to see how they were doing.</p>
<p>She found Mike leaning against a wall by the dance floor, watching everyone else dance, sipping on a craft beer that he had brought with him. He had grown a beard since Jessica broke up with him. It had started out patchy but had filled in quite nicely; Bella still didn't know if it was the look for him or not.</p>
<p>Mike had lost a bit of his spark since Jessica left. He had been coasting through community college on the high of his high school popularity, and, unlike her, he hadn't been ready to leave it behind. It was a sobering breakup. He calmed down a lot, got a little bit melancholy.</p>
<p>"Mike! What's hangin'?" she asked, leaning against the wall beside him.</p>
<p>"Oh, hey Bella! Nothing much."</p>
<p>"Not in the party mood?"</p>
<p>He shrugged. "Not there quite yet. Maybe after a few more drinks."</p>
<p>"Right, right," she said. "You're got into UC Berkeley, right?"</p>
<p>"Yep, sure did! Football scholarship and all."</p>
<p>"That's amazing! You'll be great."</p>
<p>Mike smiled. "Sure hope so. What about you?"</p>
<p>"I'm, uh, taking a gap year. I think I wanna go to U-Dub, but I'm considering my options. You can get a good English degree from just about anywhere."</p>
<p>"Man, I wish I could take a gap, but my parents are really pushing me to keep going."</p>
<p>"Hey, you're gonna get outta this town and do big things! I'm sure you'll have way more fun in Cali than you would up here."</p>
<p>"Yeah, you're right."</p>
<p>She gave him a light bump on the shoulder.</p>
<p>"Chin up, man. Future's bright."</p>
<p>Mike smiled and nodded as Bella stepped away, drifting back into the crowd. It felt strange, cheering up others when she was barely capable of cheering up herself, but she knew this might be the last time she saw some of these people. Mike would go down to California and probably wouldn't come back, just like Jessica. She didn't think Angela would want to come back from Portland either. Everyone would leave behind this small, rainy town and build a new life somewhere else.</p>
<p>Bella would eventually leave too, but she knew that decades from now, she would find herself back where she started, doing it all over again. That didn't bother her as much as she thought it would.</p>
<p>She passed Tyler, Ben, and Lauren on the dance floor, waving at them as she headed over to the bar. Alice was mixing cocktails with professional flair, and Eric was watching with great interest.</p>
<p>"I never would've pegged you for a bartender, Alice," he said, watching her toss a fifth of vodka into the air before catching it and upturning it into a cup.</p>
<p>"This is literally nothing," she said. "This is soda and rail liquor in red solo cups. Give me a cocktail shaker and I'll show you what's good."</p>
<p>"Feeling inspired, Eric?" Bella asked, sliding up beside him. "Alice, can you give me a <em>really </em>spicy cup of cola?"</p>
<p>Alice reached under the counter and produced a handle of Fireball.</p>
<p>"I <em>am </em>going to study mixology," said Eric, placing a hand on his chest.</p>
<p>"You're gonna have to step your game up from overpouring screwdrivers at 1AM in the middle of the woods, bud," said Bella.</p>
<p>"My party bartending is not reflective of my true skills."</p>
<p>"Mine is," said Alice, sliding Bella's drink across the counter. "You sure you don't wanna try the punch?"</p>
<p>"Maybe later," said Bella, taking a sip of what was certainly more cinnamon whiskey than soda.</p>
<p>They had opened up the backyard to their guests. It was summer, and the air was comfortably warm, so Bella went downstairs and stepped out back to see what was going on. Edward had set up speakers that were connected to his main setup, so the music he was spinning played throughout the entire house and even outside. Alice had strung up lights all over the place. Inside the house, they flashed and changed colors, but outside, they cast a warm, steady glow.</p>
<p>There was something beautiful about seeing the Cullen house so full of life. People were standing on the balconies, sitting on the deck, dancing in the yard. The marvel of modern architecture was positively overflowing with good vibes. Bella spun in a circle as she walked, staring at all the party guests, in awe of the sight. She took it all in, savoring the moment. It would be the last time she saw anything like this for a long, long time.</p>
<p>Whether she acknowledged it or not, it was all thanks to her. This party wouldn't have been happening if she hadn't gotten the Cullens to open up to the humans around them. They would have continued to keep to themselves. They wouldn't have gotten to know people like Mike, or Eric, or Angela, who Bella spotted sitting on a bench with Leah underneath a line of string lights.</p>
<p>She walked over to them, pulling a nearby lawn chair over so that she could also sit for a moment.</p>
<p>"Bella, hey!" said Angela. "I missed you earlier."</p>
<p>Angela had seen Leah at graduation earlier today and she had come by the house shortly after Bella had left to help with party prep.</p>
<p>"Yeah, it's been a busy day. This is definitely all worth it, though," said Bella, gesturing to everything around them.</p>
<p>"It is. Only Alice could orchestrate something like this."</p>
<p>"Only Alice," Bella echoed. "So, when are you two lovebirds eloping?"</p>
<p>Leah scowled and almost growled at her, her cheeks flushed. Angela just laughed.</p>
<p>"We're going down to look at apartments next week. I'm assuming we'll be moving sometime in late June or early July," she said.</p>
<p>"You'll be around when we get back, then," said Bella, and then realized what she was saying. "Ah, I… probably won't be able to see you."</p>
<p>Angela smiled sadly. "Yeah, but we can still talk over the phone. And you can always text me."</p>
<p>"Of course. Man, things are really changing around here."</p>
<p>Leah raised her drink. "To changes?"</p>
<p>Bella raised hers as well. "To changes! They're not always bad."</p>
<p>They all drank.</p>
<p>Bella talked to the two of them for a while longer about nothing in particular before leaving them to enjoy each other's company. There were more people to see.</p>
<p>She ran into Sam and Jacob as she was heading back inside.</p>
<p>"You two are late," she said.</p>
<p>They looked at each other.</p>
<p>"Business stuff," Sam said.</p>
<p>"Ah. Wolf business. How much shit do you two gotta go over before it's all settled?"</p>
<p>"If you're honestly asking, a lot," said Sam. "I had to figure out everything on my own with very little help, so I want Jacob to be as prepared as possible."</p>
<p>"I'm starting to feel a little <em>too</em> prepared," said Jacob. "There's no way I'm gonna remember everything."</p>
<p>"That's why I'm writing it up for you."</p>
<p>Sam frowned while Jacob laughed.</p>
<p>"Just kidding, dude! Thanks, really. You've been a big help."</p>
<p>Sam's expression softened and he put an arm over Jacob's shoulders.</p>
<p>"I sincerely hope you won't need to use all the information I've been giving you. But let's forget about all that for a while. Drinks are upstairs, right?"</p>
<p>"Yep, in the kitchen," said Bella. "Don't drink the punch, no matter how well Alice sells it."</p>
<p>Both of them raised their eyebrows, but nodded and went on up the stairs. Bella followed closed behind, but slipped past the bar and went back onto the dance floor. Edward was behind his podium, bobbing to the beat of "Electric Feel" as the lights flashed in rhythm. As Bella approached his fortress of sound, he hopped down from the platform to give her a one-armed bro hug.</p>
<p>"Shots?" he asked, yelling over the music.</p>
<p>"Shots!" she agreed. "But let's find Rosalie first!"</p>
<p>He nodded and made sure to leave the setup on autoplay before he abandoned ship.</p>
<p>Rosalie was nowhere to be found on the second floor, so they crept past the barricade they had made in the stairwell to get to the third floor. All of their rooms had been locked just in case a guest was bold enough to work their way up here.</p>
<p>Edward noticed that one of the balcony doors was open, but she wasn't out there either. They eventually found her on the roof. She looked over her shoulder when the other two climbed up to join her.</p>
<p>"What are you doing up here?" Bella asked. "You're not feeling bad, are you?"</p>
<p>Rosalie shook her head. There was a soft smile on her face, easing Bella's worries.</p>
<p>"No, it's just… It's beautiful from up here. Looking down at everyone."</p>
<p>Bella and Edward sat down at the edge of the roof on either side of her, looking down at the spectacle below. All the lights, all the people. If they leaned far enough, they could see into the house, see the entire party happening through the giant, floor-to-ceiling glass windows that made up most of the second floor.</p>
<p>"It is beautiful," Bella whispered.</p>
<p>"Don't fall," said Rosalie, grabbing the back of her shirt when she started to lean a little too far forward. "But, yeah. It is. I never really understood why you two loved this kind of shit so much, but there's something… awesome about it. Seeing so many people together, enjoying themselves. Or not. It's just this big blob of… emotions. Good or bad."</p>
<p>"Have you been drinking Alice's punch?" Bella asked, smirking.</p>
<p>Rosalie hit her playfully.</p>
<p>"No! I'm being serious for once."</p>
<p>Bella chuckled, but she looked down at the party again and completely understood what Rosalie was saying.</p>
<p>"It's raw. Unrestrained. Without inhibitions," she said, spreading her hands in front of her and then framing the sight between her fingers.</p>
<p>"Okay, don't get too philosophical on me," said Rosalie.</p>
<p>"Of course not. Sometimes it's just nice to have a few drinks and dance like nobody's watching." Bella paused. "And then throw up, really hard, because you danced too much."</p>
<p>They all laughed.</p>
<p>"Okay, why were you two looking for me anyways?" Rosalie asked.</p>
<p>"Shots!" said Edward, suddenly remembering the purpose of their search mission. "Come downstairs and do shots with us!"</p>
<p>Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Of course. Here I was thinking it might actually be important."</p>
<p>"It is important!" said Bella. "Doing shots together is the ultimate bond."</p>
<p>"Really? More ultimate than being soulmates?"</p>
<p>Bella thought about it for a moment, comically scratching her chin. She snapped her fingers, pointed at Rosalie, and said, "Yep!"</p>
<p>"Isabella Swan, I will throw you off this roof," Rosalie snarled through a goofy grin.</p>
<p>"Come on, babe, let's go back down. The party really does look nice from up here, but I promise it looks even better when you're part of it."</p>
<p>"Alright, okay, let's go."</p>
<p>Downstairs, the three of them slipped behind the bar, because they lived here and they were allowed to do that despite Alice's protests. She ended up getting roped into the shot-taking anyways, so there was no point in resisting. Alice was involved, so it had to be tequila, so they had to break out the salt and limes.</p>
<p>Rosalie was giving Bella a strange look right before they took the shots. Bella paid her no mind as she licked the salt off the back of her hand and tossed back the Cuervo, but she never got to the lime. Rosalie kissed her instead.</p>
<p>Bella broke the kiss, sputtering and coughing.</p>
<p>"I love you babe, but you are not a great chaser!" she said, trying to smile.</p>
<p>Rosalie fake-gasped. "I'm offended!"</p>
<p>"Good." Bella turned around and filled up a cup of water to clear her throat.</p>
<p>They heard Emmett yelling something about kegstands from the other room, then he entered the kitchen area followed by several people, many of whom Bella didn't even recognize, before descending upon the keg. He refused to be held up, instead popping an unsupported handstand on the keg while Jasper held the nozzle to his mouth. The sound of the music was drowned out by the chanting of numbers as everyone rallied around him. Emmett could've kept going forever, but Jasper cut him off after a hundred, not wanting to encourage any mortals to try to go much higher than that.</p>
<p>Emmett dismounted the keg with a flourish and yelled, "Who's next?"</p>
<p>The rest of the night was a blur for Bella. She would spend the following day recalling it in bits and pieces: dancing to certain songs, slapping a bag of Franzia, falling down the stairs, sitting on the back deck with Jacob having a deep conversation about something she couldn't remember, doing more shots, playing slap cup, doing kegstands with Emmett holding up her legs, and being tricked into drinking some of Alice's poison punch (which tasted <em>dangerously </em>good). She did remember that she ended the night crawling upstairs with Rosalie and doing a few <em>other </em>things before passing out, half-dressed, in her bed.</p>
<p>When she woke up in the morning, Esme, Alice, and Jasper were already well into cleaning the place. Carlisle was at work. Edward was still in his room with the door locked shut. Emmett was nowhere to be found.</p>
<p>And Rosalie was right by her side.</p>
<p>Bella found the box of her favorite cereal in the cabinet right where it should be, but they hadn't unpacked the dishes yet, so she poured some into a solo cup and filled it with milk, drinking her breakfast while Alice mopped the living room floor with great zeal and precision. The best party planners were the ones who understood the importance of cleaning up the morning after.</p>
<p>Bella found herself without regrets. She had enjoyed the party to the fullest, even if there were a few blurry spots where she didn't quite remember what had happened; the best parties were the ones that withheld things. Those moments only existed on that night, and they could never be touched by anyone afterwards.</p>
<p>While scrolling through her phone, she noticed that Edward had tagged her in a series of photos. She swiped through them, finding a picture of her and Edward, one of her and Rosalie, of him and Jacob, of Angela and Leah, of Alice tossing a bottle, Emmett doing a kegstand, Jasper taking a tequila shot, and a few more of them and their friends in various lineups. Some of the pictures were blurry and didn't have the best lighting, but they were truly candid shots, capturing how they felt in the moment. The last photo was one of the night sky, framed by the treetops and the string lights Alice had hung up in the backyard.</p>
<p>Edward, forever the virtuoso, captioned all his posts with song lyrics enclosed by music note emojis:</p>
<p>"<em>the more things seem to change / the more they stay the same"</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey there! happy new year! good to see you again!</p>
<p>welcome to Hunger! if you've somehow gotten this far without realizing this is a sequel fic, you should go read my other fic, Addiction!</p>
<p>i've been wanting to get to this new arc of bella's life for quite some time. i want to be up front and say that this fix is not completely outlined, nor do i know how it's supposed to end! i actually have a decent chunk of it (maybe like half) outlined already, but everything after that is a mystery. i also don't intend to work quite as hard as i did on Addiction; i really, really wanted Addiction to be a finished product, but this sequel is really, REALLY self-indulgent, and it's going to be something i work on in my free time while i turn my focus to my original writing instead. i wanted to be able to finish that first fic and at least start this one, but this is very much a backburner project.</p>
<p>that being said, i LOVE writing this au so much and i seem to always come back to it no matter what, so don't expect to be left hanging! there will be updates, they might just be kinda slow. in the meantime, i don't intend to abandon my tumblr (ultward), so you can always find me there!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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